Returning
I’m on my way to see my Mum for the first time in almost a year and a half…
As I sit here, on an outbound v-line train heading from Southern Cross to Tallarook, I can’t help but feel it is time to write.
I’ve caught this train hundreds of times, but this is the first time everybody on board is wearing a face mask.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to rant on about all that.
My eyes watch the scenery whiz by, capturing temporary snapshots of the Craigieburn Line’s diverse graffiti catalog. I spot and recognise old pieces I used to appreciate.
“Still there”, I think with the warm feeling of familiarity.
Lots of new stuff too, it’s been less than 2 years but I can see the trashy bubble-style trend has caught on even more than it had when I left.
Shout out to WORLD and COLA.
-
It’s Saturday the 19th of Feb, my second day back in Melbourne. I arrived late night on Thursday, flying in from Perth to Tullamarine. A somewhat spontaneous return from my interstate adventures.
After a lot of poor coordination and confusion, I eventually found Seamus who had been waiting at a far away Terminal for me.
An old friend, a new feeling.
This has been the longest I’ve been away from Melbourne and the familiarity of an old friend.
Natural ease, secure comfort.
We already know the ins and outs of each others manner and language, so in a natural flow, we get into it.
His van was a little more beaten up than I remember, and the home he used to have set up at the back now housed a lawn mover and gardening tools. A new business venture.
The smell of earth was a rich aroma for that first ride back on Melbourne roads.
We caught up on things as he drove me into town.
Window opened, I took in the city’s scent and I felt something in my body relax. A tension deep inside I wasn’t aware of.
I suppose in new places some tucked away parts of us are on alert and in protection mode, even if it doesn’t seem so.
I think whatever that part may have been realised I was back on the home court, and gave itself permission to take a break.
I know the streets, no google maps.
Memories on every corner.
We were driving down Bell St through Coburg when my eyes landed on something new.
Coburg station has had a major upgrade, built up and over the road now, it was illuminated with coloured LED lighting and a big “COBURG” sign ominously glowing above the train-station entrance. I was impressed, and as surprised as I was to see it, I was more so surprised at how excited it made me.
Coming down St Georges road a flash back feeling of “never having left” landed on me.
I was getting closer to my old place by the Merri creek on Bridge street.
This area in particular has my foot prints all over it.
Seamus and Ashwin were the only people who knew I was back in Melbourne, and Ashwin had set up Whitney for a surprise.
We turned into Bridge St, parked, and texted Ash to let him know we were about to come in.
He had left the front door unlocked.
I could hear Whitneys voice as I crept down the hallway and walked towards the warm light of the living room.
She was mid sentence when I came around the corner, and whatever was about to be said was replaced with a big O in her mouth - and a wide eyed, lingering silence.
Giggles, laughter and a big hug cracked the initial shock.
My old friends.
My old house.
My old life.
Seamus gave us all a cuddle and headed home, and the remaining three of us sat down, like we had done many times before.
It was surreal to be there in that moment, and crazy how quickly we snapped into our regular flow.
I had a moment while we were sitting on the floor of the living room, coffee table in between us, chatting - where I felt I was dreaming, or better yet, remembering.
It felt like I was reliving a memory from before, like I had done many times while I was away.
Everything was in place as it had been. Apart from the rearranged furniture and new items, nothing appeared to have changed.
And the feeling I had, sitting there with them, is unparalleled by any time I’ve had with people since I left.
I’ve made beautiful friendships and formed wonderfully deep bonds whilst away, sitting many times in the same way we were in that moment, but it was different.
In this moment, the people in front of me had known me far longer than a few months. They had been with me me through so much. They had held me while I cried.
These people, I had in front of me, were infused into my heart.
Contrast.
Oh contrast, what a mighty gift.
Nothing quite helps me understand something like a bit of contrast.
I knew I loved Ashwin and Whitney, but as much as it would have been nice to have seen them along my way over the past year, I hadn’t missed them.
Not in a harsh way, I just didn’t have much space for missing…
I was busy exploring places and meeting people.
But now, after getting home and having the contrast of “life with” versus “life without” these two special people, I could really see just how much I love them.
My heart has those feels right now while I write this.
We talked, we laughed, we smiled, we hugged…
And then…
We played Catan.
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